Invisibility Cloak
by trixXxie12
Summary: That and its side effects on a perverted Ron and an unfortunate fate of Draco Malfoy. Purely humor. Strictly NO male/male romance. Read.


**ABOUT: **Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley and the funny effects after stealing Harry's invisibility cloak

**DISCLAIMER: **J.K Rowling owns Harry Potter. I own the stupid plot. ©2011

**SETTING: **Hogwarts Castle. Set somewhere during the Chamber of Secrets, after the Whomping Willow and parseltongue incidents; all descriptions based on movie series.

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><p><strong>INVISIBILITY CLOAK<strong>

_By trixXxter11_

One Shot Chapter: Never Steal _Again_!

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><p>Who would've thought that being invisible and being an egotistic know-it-all kind of kid could lead to so many unfortunate disadvantages?<p>

I'm guessing. No one would.

That is, probably… _until now_.

It has been days since the revelation that Harry Potter was a parselmouth, after the accidental snake conversation during the dueling club. Hermione and Ron had distanced themselves a little bit from their known friend. Not that they were scared of him or for the fact that he had the ability same as you-know-who. Nevertheless, they just did. But theoretically speaking, they still support Harry –the boy who lives. Unknowingly, they do. After all, they were best of friends. And that relationship can never be changed. They strongly believed Harry was not the person behind the petrification. Not at all. Still, for the sake that _he is_ a parselmouth –added to the fact that they both thought he had intentionally hid that talent of his from theirs, they ignored him.

Anyway, usual things happened inside Hogwarts Castle. Students hover back and forth, towards their respective classes or the library and whatnot. After the Transfiguration classes they had with Old McGonagall, as what Ron had usually called her, Harry suddenly disappeared –quite not used with people staring at him and judging him for something he is not. Ron and Hermione were now walking along the busy hallways like the rest, talking about the usual stuffs –him and how certain mudbloods were being hunted one by one inside the castle. Hermione grew restless each passing second. Fortunately, Ron was there to at least comfort her. Nonetheless…

"I have to go to the library. Are you coming?" Hermione had asked as she faced her orange-haired friend. Her hands tightly hugged her books in front. Well, she finally couldn't take it anymore that she decides to do more searching –trying to find answers. Said she hasn't given her best yet in finding the right solutions to the problem. However, being a Weasley, Ron shrugged the offer away.

"Nah! You go ahead, Hermione," he answered her.

"Fine," she said before humphing, leaving him on the castle corridors alone.

It was also a coincidence that after she had left, the marauders of their generation had come. This time, however, without the s –Draco Malfoy.

"Where's your friend Pothead and that mudblood, huh, Weasel?" he had teased him, as usual. He hasn't changed. Not even a bit. His ego was still way beyond reach –as if debating the Empire State Building's height. _Speak for yourself! _Ron thought but decided to ignore. At first, Ron tried to disregard him like what he'd commonly do even when Draco's with the rest of his gang –Crabbe and Goyle. Still, it was as if Draco wouldn't let him slip off easily. He continued to taunt the poor Weasley walking alone along the halls. Originally, Ron was good in paying no heed at his recent diabolical remarks. Well, not for long.

"I hope that mudblood, Granger, would be next in Pothead's to-petrify list. It would be a good chance now that Mrs. Sprout's herbs are decreasing in numbers. It would take a large span of time for it to grow again. And before that ever happens, that Pothead would order the basilisk to feed her heart," Draco stated, a smirk seen in his well-defined face.

"Don't talk about Harry and Hermione like that!" Ron had finally fought back. He reached for his pockets to find his wand. And before he could even realize its current condition and everything that had happened, he pointed his wand towards the notorious Malfoy.

"Eat slugs!" he chanted. But since his wand was broken, his chant fire back at him –making the unfortunate Ron to throw up all the slugs he had eaten. Draco only smirked, a sign that he was amused of Ron's stupid acts and thinking. After he was done teasing him of his foolishness, he harshly grabbed Ron's cloak. Still, he maintained proper distance –afraid Ron might vomit the slug on his well-cleaned clothes.

"Think about this, Weasel. You're gay –always tagging along Potter and Granger but in fact, haven't done any great contribution yet. Aren't you ashamed of yourself? A pureblood wizard but hasn't done any heroic kind of deed," Draco further went on, making Ron madder every passing second. Still, Ron stayed still. He didn't quite know what to say –felt convinced in some ways.

"You're a gay baby after all," he further went on after hearing nothing from the Weasley.

"I am not gay," Ron tried to defend with his last bit of strength. His words came out after a great interval of slug vomiting.

"Tell you what. I want you to do some… rebellion towards your Potter friend. To make me believe you really are of great worth and not some kind of gay baby, steal his invisibility cloak and sneak inside the girl's wing of the Gryffindor common room. Then, go to Slytherin and report. By then will I only be convinced," Draco had last instructed before finally exiting. That boastful smile of his never left his striking appearance.

**-IC**-

That night, even if it was against Ron's will, he tiptoed his way towards Harry's chest while he was asleep –probably dreaming another basilisk nightmare. Slowly, he opened it and searched for the cloak. When he had it in his hands, he turned off the lamp he had created before wearing the garment. He was safe since the rest of Gryffindor's males sleep early. Thus, giving him quite the advantage to do Draco's silly instructions unnoticed. When he was finally out of the room, he immediately snuck inside the girl's wing. At first, he thought that they too were all asleep –adding to his advantage to perform this foolish game safely. However, though, he was only surprised when… the lights were still on. He looked ahead. And adding to his contemporary shock, every Gryffindor girls were huddled on one area –laughing amongst themselves.

Curious, he came closer. Well, he was quite confident he'd go undetected. After all, he was inside the invisibility cloak. That only means one thing. He's invisible.

"…don't believe Harry's the culprit behind this whole dramatic basilisk thing," one girl tried to say.

"I mean, with that cute face of his, its quite impossible he'd do such an act," she continued dreamily. The rest of the girls could only nod. Hermione and Ginny, who were on the corner, just listened at them and their ridiculous topic about how cute Harry was that followed afterwards –and some other trivial stuffs how Harry had become an action figure in some stores. How his tees, pants, shirt, stickers and posters about him had become a great collectible by other people. His face was even printed in some candy wrappers and tumblers. Heck, probably in all kinds of things you could think of. They published his face in an undergarment, what more would it be in plastic appliances?

"So, that's the reason why it's practically unbelievable Harry would do such a crime. Some other people out there could probably speak parseltongue. We just don't know! I even heard that if you search Google, there's already this parseltongue dictionary that with just a click, it could translate the word you typed into snake language," another girl tried to say, earning quizzical and epic shock expressions of the others. Ginny had finally ignored them and decided to devote herself in sleeping. On the other hand, Hermione only shook her head left and right. Soon, she too decided to give back her attention on the book she's currently holding. Well, not for long.

"So, Hermione, how is it going with your secret crush on Ron Weasley?" one of the gossip girls tried to ask when she had noticed Hermione isolating herself from them. Of course, that sudden question both caught Hermione and the hidden Ron Weasley… _off-guard._

"What are you talking about? Don't be rubbish!" she tried to defend but miserably failed to do so.

"Oh, come on, Hermione. Spill!" the girl went on, ignoring Hermione's disapprovals. That made the bookworm flush beet red. They kept on annoying her until she finally spilled everything –not knowing that the Ron Weasley they were all talking about was listening. When his heart couldn't take the whole revelation, he ran away. Although, he intended to stay but… but… there's still _a next time_. He's sure of that. And by the next, he surely won't leave any details… unheard.

After he was done with his business on the girl's wing, he decided to proceed with the next –go to the Slytherin's common room and report to Draco Malfoy. Wanting to get this over with in a jiffy, he did just that. When he had arrived, as expected, the three were already together –talking on a sofa while eating. It was more like both Crabbe and Goyle were eating.

"If only I could get a hand on that Pothead. Tch. He really thought he's the powerful one when in fact, he's only hiding beneath the shadows of that old dumb door," Draco hissed. If only Ron wouldn't want to blow his cover just yet, he might've strangled that white-haired Malfoy to his death.

"You mean Dumbledore?" Crabbe confirmed after he ate his twentieth muffin. Not so long, he reached for the plate to get five more –stuffing all of it simultaneously inside his mouth.

"Crabbe, when will you ever learn the word diet?" Draco had asked after witnessing the weird eating habits of his friend, a little bit disgusted by it.

"Why should I, Drake? When all of the food here are so delicious?" the chubby wizard replied.

"Don't ever call me Drake! I sound like that plant, that mandrake! I wouldn't want to relate myself with an herb used to heal petrified mudbloods," he answered with filth.

"Don't underestimate the power of plants, Drake. I heard from people that your life story was written by that, who was that again, Crabbe? Bowling? Oh, by Rowling that you married a plant –to be specific, Greengrass," Goyle interrupted, wanting to be part of the silly dispute. Draco only rolled his eyes when both Crabbe and Goyle start rolling on the floor like a pinball, laughing.

"Greengrass and Malfoy! Hahaha! How will you name your child, huh, Drake?" Goyle tried to tease. Draco just rolled his eyes, not interested of their humor.

"I know! I know! Mandrake Greengrass Malfoy!" Crabbe answered him, laughing harder.

"Or worst! Lucius Mandrake Greengrass!" Goyle went on, making steams come out of the irritated Malfoy's ears.

"Hahaha! It sounds like that mandrake garden outside Hogwarts, Lucius' Mandrake Garden!"

"Aye! You could start a profit with that, eh, Draco!" Goyle said, still laughing on the floor. Ron was unknowingly laughing too, hidden beneath the protection of Harry's invisibility cloak.

But because of too much laughing, he didn't notice a trolley was behind him. As a result, he made it move –leaving the previously laughing Crabbe and Goyle horror-stricken. And as a result from too much eating sweets and fatty foods, it gave Crabbe a mild stroke –making him unconscious for a while. He'll probably wake up later on. You'll just kick him in the butt and poof! He'll wake up. It's not like it's the first time Crabbe had undergone some insignificant thing as a minor stroke. In no time too, Goyle had lost consciousness. Don't ask as both Ron and Draco didn't even know why. Their guess was that they're just shocked. _Or probably stuffed from too much laughing. _After all, both knew not of the deal between Malfoy and Weasley so they had no idea it was Ron.

On the other hand, Draco's smirk had returned. He had practically ignored the unfortunate state of his friends. He knew it was Ron. He's sure of it. He could smell his stinky Weasel-like odor –probably the other reason why Goyle had lost consciousness. Slowly, Draco tried to sit properly. His hand traveled inside his pockets, trying to get his wand. He wanted him to pay –to pay about his previous desire to make him eat slugs. He just wanted to have some fun –have fun seeing him vomit slugs _again._

His wand pointed towards Ron, who was by the way, shaking in fear.

"Eat slugs!" he cursed.

Little did he, they both know that the invisibility cloak acts as protection –both physically and wizardly. After all, _it is _the invisibility cloak found in The Tale of the Three Brothers. Therefore, the spell just passed through Ron. Unfortunately for Draco, there was a mirror on the direction he had casted the spell –reflecting the incantation back at him. In no time, a slug came out of his mouth. Ron couldn't help but laugh more. Then, he went away –forgetting their previous deal that he'll supposedly report to him about _that _matter.

"I know you're here, Weasel! You get back here you filthy pureblood!" Draco yelled. Now, it was his words that came out after a great span of slug vomiting.

-**IC**-

The night of the following day, students of Slytherin were gathered outside their house –as if their head leader had some important announcements.

"I'M SORRY TO TELL YOU BUT SLYTHERIN COMMON ROOM WILL BE UNAVAILABLE FOR NOW. YOU'LL BE MERGED WITH OTHER HOUSES. SO, WAIT, AS I MENTION EACH OF YOUR NAMES!"

Much to his displeasure, Draco was separated from Crabbe and Goyle who was both relocated to the Hufflepuff House. He tried to reason out with their head leader but he wouldn't give in.

"I'm sorry, _Drake_," was his last words before walking away.

On the meantime, Ron hurriedly went to the shower for him to finish early. A smile crept in his lips. He wanted to do more. He wanted to know more and whatnot. He didn't know that using the invisibility cloak could be so much fun. _And he wanted more. _So, he swiftly finished bathing and clothing –oblivious of the fact that visitors had come. What can you say? His mind was pre-occupied over a lot of things. He got his chance to steal Harry's cloak _again _when all of the boys had practically rushed towards the bathroom –both students of Slytherin and Gryffindor. Thus, leaving him alone inside the room. Quickly, he searched Harry's cloak inside his chest and wore it. In no time, he was back to being invisible _again._

The first thing that came inside him was the girl's wing. He wanted to check if they were talking like the last night he had caught them. Sadly, however, there was not a single person inside the room. Nonetheless, sounds of rushing water greeted his ears. He followed where it was. Then, it led him to the girl's washing room. He knew it was wrong to go inside. But when the name "HERMIONE" flashed right before him, he couldn't say no. Plus, the door was open. So, you could say it wasn't his fault.

He slowly went in, quite confident he was invisible. As he came closer, a figure was then formed past the shower curtains. He knew, then, it was Hermione though it was quite off hearing her hum some tune while bathing. Nonetheless, he proceeded. His mind went berserk, turning devious. Bit by bit, he tiptoed his way closer –quite hesitant if he should proceed or not. Nah! There's nothing wrong with even just a single peek right? _Blimey! What the hell am I thinking? _He thought when he was inches away from opening the curtains. _It's now or never, Ron! _He went on as his hands finally had a grip of the fabric. He deceitfully smirked. And as he slid open the curtains, a scene he didn't quite expect flash right before him –a fuming white-blond Malfoy greeting his malicious eyes.

"YOU'LL CERTAINLY PAY FOR THIS, WEASEL!"

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><p><strong>NOTE: <strong>Lalalala… _No seriousness intended_. Trixy here. Purpose is to enjoy and laugh. And I didn't mean to bash JK Rowling's name! Please, please forgive me. I value my life. Anyway, I know the merging of houses was impossible but this is FanFiction. You can just ignore it. :) The reason he used the girl's shower room was because the boy's were full. That was the reason no girls were present. Thank you for reading. And if you got more time to lose, please read my other HP fiction/s in my profile._ Leave some (funny) comments please._ Well, maybe not necessarily funny. :D


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